The Triumph Stag needs its own adjective

THE OTHER week I mentioned one of my petrolhead pals was threatening to blow five thousand of his carefully earned pounds on a Triumph Stag.

Luckily, he saw sense at the last minute and decided not to; he decided to chuck seven and a half bags of sand at one instead. That’s £7,500 on a 1970s convertible best known – unfairly or not - for its penchant for rotting and munching through head gaskets at the first hint of overheating. To make matters worse, even if you bag a really good one it’ll still struggle – and I’ve seen the fuel bills to prove it – to top 25 to the gallon. 

However, all of this pales into comparision with the really unhinged bit – almost immediately after doing the deal, the mate in question lobbed the keys in my direction and insisted I had a go. I returned half an hour later with an enormous grin on my face – and not even remotely envious! 

The tricky thing with the Stag is that while not being superlative or extraordinary in any one particular field, it covers all the bases with a caddish charm that’s surprisingly hard to pin down in print. It’s so difficult to define what underpins the Stag’s essence that it’s actually easier to associate it with things which have the same delightfully dated and yet somehow cool sense of aspiration. Things which are, in other words, a bit stagulent. 

Roger Moore, for instance, is stagulent, as were his attempts to charm Britt Ekland in The Man With The Golden Gun. Velour jackets and polka dot shirts (especially worn together) are stagulent, as is playing golf. Flying on Concorde was always a bit stagulent, as are Joanna Lumley, Directors Bitter, the whole of Harrogate, and reruns of The Persuaders!. Cars other than the Triumph Stag can be stagulent too; try the Jaguar XJ-S, or today’s BMW 6-Series Convertible and the Jaguar F-type. 

That’s why you’ll either ‘get’ Triumph’s V8-engined, Italian-styled, leatherette-lined cruiser or you won’t. It’s not the fastest, the nimblest, or best-built car you’ll ever drive but the looks, the rumble of the 3.0 litre engine when you shove the automatic gearbox into kickdown and the way it just lollops along effortlessly acts an automotive passport to some parallel world where everything is a bit more stylish, albeit in an irredeemably gaudy sort of way.

In short the Triumph Stag is thirsty, badly-made, not especially fast and looks like it’s escaped from a casino in 1970s Monte Carlo. I love it.

Image courtesy of Classic Car Weekly and Sam Skelton

Fiat beefs up the Panda 4x4

A MORE hardcore version of the UK’s smallest off-roader has just been launched by Fiat.

The Panda Cross is based on the existing four-wheel-drive Panda but adds a stack of gadgets you’d normally only find on much larger off-roaders – including oversized tyres, hill descent control, a sump guard, and a terrain control stability system – to the package.

It's also got a six speed gearbox with a shortened first gear designed with 'crawling' through challenging conditions in mind - admittedly, it's not the low ratio 'box you'll get on a Land Rover Defender, but this will squeeze through many a gap and gulley which the bigger, 'proper' off-roader can't.

Fiat said its sheer versatility has come from more than 30 years of making some of Europe's smallest 4x4s. A spokesman for the company said: "In 2006 SUVs accounted for around seven percent of the total car market in Europe whereas today they account for approximately 20 percent.

"Yet despite the proliferation of models in the past decade the new Fiat Panda Cross remains a truly unique offering, by combining the genuine capabilities of a proper off-road vehicle with the efficiency and practicality of a versatile city car."

Prices start at £15,945 for the TwinAir-engined version, while the 1.3 litre version will set you back £16,945. Both go on sale here towards the end of the year.

The Life On Cars Mini resurfaces - here's why I didn't buy it

SUPPOSE you’re invited out for a drink with an ex you haven’t seen in years. You’re curious – perhaps even slightly sentimental – but you know it ended for a reason. What do you do?

That’s the way I felt the other day when the first car I ever owned turned up, completely unexpectedly, in an online auction. Naturally, it piqued my curiosity, and I’ve almost certainly spent far longer than anyone really ought to keeping track of all the bids a rather ropey, 30-year-old Mini.

It proved, given I’m exactly the sort of car lover who develops an attachment to what everyone considers to be automotive tat, to be a weirdly bittersweet experience. Even though there was no shortage of people egging me on, I couldn’t bring myself to do the motoring equivalent of getting back with your first girlfriend. I resisted the temptation to stick in a bid on the 1984 Mini Mayfair which for several years accompanied the logo of this very blog.

Not that I didn’t look back longingly, of course. If you really, truly love cars then your first outings in your own car are something you’ll reminisce about as fondly as your first kiss or your first pint, and for me those tentative initial trips in that Mini will be forever stacked away as wonderful memories. Being behind the wheel of A860 JKC meant the first time I ever took my own set of wheels to a car show, my inaugural motoring holiday and finally being free of bus stops. It was so much more than just a car.

That’s why seeing it up for sale in almost exactly the same state in which I sold it left me feeling sad. Contrary to previous belief, any plans to restore it to its former glory seemed to have fallen by the wayside – in fact, the 2009 Woodvale Rally plaque I’d fitted was still cable-tied to its chrome grille. The only difference was that four years ago my old Mayfair got driven away; it got sold online as a non-runner.

In the end I resisted the temptation, largely because despite the supersized helping of nostalgia my abiding memory is of it being a car which you could rely on to let you down. I watched as it went under the virtual hammer for £120 more than I sold it for; I can only hope it went to someone who’ll love it as much as I did, and can rescue it using the funds I didn’t have back in 2010.

Despite the bittersweet ending, I realised I’d learned two things from watching my first car being snapped up. For one thing, old Minis really have shot up in price over the last few years – that’s why even ones which really weren’t very good, like mine, get snapped up.

But perhaps more importantly, I remembered it’s better to have loved and lost an old car than never to have loved it at all.

David Cameron has given great street racing events the green light

IMAGINE the sight of a Jaguar D-type doing battle with a Ferrari 250 TR, or perhaps a pair of Caterhams ducking and diving as they fight for the perfect line through a tight corner.

It’s an entertaining enough prospect to make you book a ticket for Brands Hatch or Silverstone, but what about watching some proper, full-throttle action on, say, Ormskirk’s one-way system? Well, thanks to the concerted efforts of some racing buffs and a largely unexpected move by the Prime Minister, it’s not as far-fetched as you might think.

Last Friday, seemingly out of nowhere, David Cameron announced he was going to give local authorities the green light to close off public roads for motorsport events. In other words, the powers-that-be are free to close off your nearest high street, suspend the normal speed limits for an afternoon, and stage races – or time trials or sprints, for that matter – for your entertainment.

Personally, I think it’s a corking idea. Having long been involved with West Lancashire’s efforts to re-enact the street racing glamour of Monaco, the Ormskirk MotorFest, I’ve asked for years why the road closures can’t be used for something a bit more dramatic than parades of old cars and motorbikes. The local authorities liked the idea.

The event organisers seemed up for it. The petrolhead public – who were already sold on the idea of seeing a 1978 Saudia-Williams F1 car tootling past the parish church – were all in favour. Yet, thanks to an obscure clause in a bit of legislation passed more than 25 years ago, shutting off a road and using it for racing was very much against the law.

That’s why a display of sports cars in Ormskirk town centre last Saturday to promote this year’s MotorFest couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. By sheer coincidence, the team behind one of the few shows in the country which actually puts racing cars on real roads were showing off cars to the town’s shoppers, the day after the Prime Minister effectively gave them permission to up the stakes.

Mike Ashcroft, chairman of event organisers Aintree Circuit Club, told me: "The announcement is excellent news, because that aspect of the law has been the single biggest stumbling block for events like the MotorFest, which is now attracting more than 30,000 people into Ormskirk every year.

"The event brings so much money into the town centre, and hopefully this change will give other local councils the confidence to host their own events in other parts of the country. I think there could definitely be an Ormskirk MotorFest with a more competitive element in the future, as long as there the people in place to organise it."

By all means don’t hold your breath; there won’t be any flat-out, fully-fledged racing battles on Ormskirk’s one-way system at this year’s event, but it’s great to know Ormskirk – or a street near you – could play host to some Monaco-esque motorsport magic in years to come. I’m really looking forward to it.

New classic car show planned for Southport

CLASSIC car owners in and around Southport are being urged to get involved with a new charity event being held in the resort next month.

The event, which is being held at the newly-refurbished Kings Gardens near the Promenade, will take place on Saturday, 23 August and raise funds to help treat Merseyside residents with neurological disorders.

It’s free for owners of classic car and motorbikes to show off their prized vehicles, but anyone keen to get involved must request an application form by sending an email to info@lot21.co.uk.

Classic cars give sneak preview of Ormskirk MotorFest

ORMSKIRK'S shoppers were treated to the striking sight of more than a dozen sports cars taking over the town's market yesterday as part of efforts to promote a celebration of motorsport next month.

Aintree Circuit Club brought the cars and motorbikes to the centre of the historic market town not only to promote National Motorsport Week but also to promote this year's Ormskirk MotorFest, which takes place on 24 August and has already attracted more than 300 entrants.

Mike Ashcroft, the club's chairman, said: "Not only have we got hundreds of entrants, but we've also got a substantial car club presence this year, so West Lancashire Borough Council has very kindly allocated us the field to the rear of Coronation Park to give space to these clubs, some of which are bringing between 10 and 15 vehicles each.

"There are a lot of new things happening at this year's event, including changes to the parades from little batches of vehicles to larger parades which go around the town centre more times than in previous years.

The cars on show included a 1992 Ferrari 348, a 1973 Triumph Stag and a 1970 Ford Mustang, which aimed to give shoppers at the town's market a taste of the machines which will be on show at next month's event.

To find out more go to the Ormskirk MotorFest website.

The Life On Cars MGB does MG90

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Fire up the... Vauxhall Cascada

FORGET any ideas of this being a sports car. Even though it’s a swoopy two-door offering with a droptop roof and the word ‘Turbo’ in its name, to blast down the backroads is to miss the point of this al-fresco offering from Vauxhall.

Nope, the Cascada’s charms are altogether more grown up – four plump seats, a traditional, soft-top roof which stows away electrically in 12 seconds and endless opportunities to improve your tan. Enjoying this Astra-based open top tourer is all about relaxing, taking in the scenery, and letting the car’s supple suspension take the strain.

That’s why the Cascada is smooth and cosseting to drive rather than livewire, firm and immediate – in fact, the composed, chilled out way its front-wheel-drive underpinnings take corners is immediately familiar to anyone who’s piloted an Astra or Insignia for any meaningful mileage. The ride, in particular, is superb, with the uncomfortable shakes and vibrations of big cabriolets from a generation ago (Saab 900 Convertible, anyone?) all but a distant memory.

In fact, the only real weak link in the Cascada’s easy-going chain is that turbocharged engine – it’s a 170bhp 1.6 litre petrol lump and it’s far from lacking in pace, but the way it revs and scrabbles to put down its power is utterly at odds with the rest of the car’s character. The silky smooth, unstressed urge of a big V6 is what this car really deserves, but in this cost-conscious day and age the best engine the Cascada range offers is Vauxhall’s superb 2.0 litre turbodiesel.

One thing that is consistent through the range, however, are the looks; it’s not going to grace any bedroom wall posters any time soon, but you can’t deny the Cascada’s handsome in a restrained, intelligent sort of way. There’s an argument it’s not only better looking than Renault’s Megane CC, but BMW’s open-top 3-Series too.

Vauxhall’s biggest challenge is going to be persuading image-conscious convertible connoisseurs that the saving over a BMW 3-Series or an Audi A5 is worth forgoing the street cred of the German rivals. However, there’s still a gap left where the Saab 9-3 convertible left off.

In the Cascada, the company’s got a convertible capable enough of exploiting it.

How to organise the perfect car show

IN PRETTY much the same way plenty of my pals like to shout instructions at Liverpool players even though they’re no good at the game themselves, I’m guilty of being that guy who reviews car shows even though I’ve never actually organised one.

It’s that time of year when every stately home, village green, municipal park and playing field seems to host its own car show. Thanks partly to my day job and partly due to being a glutton for punishment, I’ve spent pretty much every weekend, for as long as I can remember, wandering around them. Yet the only constant – apart from them featuring displays of cars, obviously - is the incredible amount of effort the organisers put into getting them off the ground. Passing comment on where they could do better is a bit like you telling Roy Hodgson how he could have got England’s boys to have done better in Brazil, surely?

But when you spend every single weekend wandering around classic car shows (and last year, a bit embarrassingly, I ended up at more than 40 of them) you soon get an idea of what works and what doesn’t. You end up wondering how the rather obvious opportunity for a striking car display right in front of the stately home somehow got missed, why all the ropey cheeseburgers from the mobile catering vans always seem to cost £5.50, and whether the people in charge forgot to invite anyone other than Austin Cambridge and Morris Minor owners. 

That’s why I found it so refreshing to wander around what I reckon was the perfect car event. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Lakes Charity Classic Car Show, held last weekend on a playing field in Grasmere.

I’ll skip past the postcard-perfect Lake District venue – if Wordsworth did car shows, this is what they’d look like – because just about everything else about the show was spot on. Every single car, bike and tractor, with the notable exception of a few last-minute entries, was carefully catalogued in a programme that didn’t cost a million pounds to buy, and what you did have to pay went straight to charity. The organisers couldn’t have been more helpful, the grub was sensibly priced, hastily-arranged ‘entertainment’ from long-forgotten rock bands was pleasingly absent and there was a great, friendly atmosphere.

Most importantly, however, they’d got the most important bit – the cars – right too. It was utterly refreshing to be able to check out some intriguingly and fantastically rare old cars, like one chap’s 1952 Marauder Sports, before wandering all of ten yards and debating whether the Ford Probe is old enough to considered a classic yet.

Getting a car show just right is a tricky old thing to do and I reckon the closest thing we’ve got on our doorstep is the (equally charity-orientated) Lydiate Classic Car Show. Roll on Sunday!

Life On Cars writer picks up award

THE writer behind Life On Cars has won a prestigious award at a glittering ceremony in London.

David Simister (pictured, centre) was presented with a ‘One to Watch’ award at this year’s Bauer Media Awards, held last Friday (June 27) at The O2.

David, who was praised for his achievements as news editor at Classic Car Weekly, said: "I'm over the moon to have won such a prestigious award a little over a year after I started at Classic Car Weekly.

"Even though I write more about Austins and Astons than Ormskirk and Aughton, I'm delighted to carry on The Champion spirit of finding great stories through hard work and good journalism."

The award was in recognition for a series of exclusive motoring scoops for Classic Car Weekly and sister website Classic Cars For Sale, including breaking the news that the world’s first Triumph Spitfire was up for sale and that the world’s largest collection of cars from the James Bond films was being sold for £20m.

John Westlake, acting editor of Classic Car Weekly, said: "David richly deserved this prestigious award. His tea-making is woeful, but he's a very promising journalist."

Earlier this year, Life On Cars picked up a prize at the inaugural UK Blog Awards, and when working at The Champion newspaper in 2011 David won the O2 North West Scoop of The Year award.

Read more of David’s news stories every Wednesday in Classic Car Weekly

A great selection of rare classic cars at Gaydon

IT'S a bit of a shocking admission to make when your day job is being the news editor of a national publication dedicated to classic cars. Until last weekend, I'd never looked around the Heritage Motor Centre.

I'd only been to the extensive museum, based in the Warwickshire village of Gaydon, on one fleeting visit during a classic car rally last year. Sadly, an extremely hectic schedule meant I couldn't do what any self-respecting petrolhead really ought to; have a long, lingering look at the scores of British classics inside.

Luckily, last weekend's roster of classic car events was just about un-hectic enough to afford me a proper peek into one of the nation's bona-fide automotive treasure troves. Here's just a few of the stunning machines you'll be greeted by if you head through Gaydon's doors...

To plan your own visit, go to the Heritage Motor Centre's website or give them a call on 01926 641188.