Bank Holiday weekends are no fun for motorists

So another Bank Holiday weekend’s been and gone. How was yours?

If you were sensible you probably spent it trying to shelter your pint from the searing heat of the sun in a beer garden of your choice, enjoying a round of a rather different sort at the Royal Birkdale or – if you were feeling adventurous – trying to avoid a DIY-induced trip to your nearest Accident & Emergency.

It’s just a shame, then, that I loathe Bank Holidays with a venom usually only reserved for Bob Geldof, the music of Will.i.am and the Kia Pride. Part of the problem is that – unlike days you’ve chosen to take our your holiday allowance, when the world truly is your oyster and you’re free to make whatever carefully considered plans you like for it – Bank Holidays are essentially days when the Government tells you that you must have fun. Whitehall telling you to enjoy yourself is like telling a six-year-old child to go to sleep – because of the imperatives involved, it ain’t gonna happen.

But worse still is the unintended but inevitable byproduct of Britain’s population being told, en masse, to have a good time; the slightly silly amounts of traffic on the major roads and motorways from clocking off work on Friday right through to the following Tuesday morning. As much I love cars and driving, even I was wishing someone would get on with inventing a successful teleportation system as I sat in the same two mile stretch of M6 for the 45th minute last Friday night. If you can liken Britain’s road network to a living, breathing thing, then the Bank Holiday weekend represents the clogged arteries that come after the nation collectively gorging itself on the double cheeseburger that is the working week.

I can see the retort coming already; perhaps, rather than being one of these people inconveniently helping cause a bit of congestion, I should have just avoided travelling? I would have loved to have travelled at a different time but I could only leave work to get where I needed to be when – you guessed it – work finished. I’d only dared venture onto the M6, at rush hour on a Friday night on a Bank Holiday weekend, because it connects where I’d come from with where I wanted to go. Thanks to the brilliance of Bank Holiday weekends, that’s the predicament everyone else was in too.

There was that idiotic suggestion by some Government think tank that Bank Holidays should be abolished altogether, but really what Whitehall ought to do, for the nation’s collective commuting sanity, is find a way of managing the congestion nightmares they cause for thousands of people, none of whom especially want to be stuck there.

That or get busy giving a grant to whoever can invent a teleporter.

Car clubs urged to lend their backing to this year's Lydiate Classic Car Show

Car clubs across the north west are being encouraged to help the organisers of a classic car show to help fund the battle against cancer.

The organisers of the Lydiate Classic Car Show said they were keen to hear from car clubs who would be interested to hear from any car clubs keen to bring their classics to Merseyside for the July 7 event, which will help to raise funds for Cancer Research UK.

Event co-organiser Ben Spears said: “Currently in its sixth year, the show has raised almost £10,000 for the cancer charity. “The entrance fee is a flat £2 for all, and as well as classic machinery on show there are also charity stalls, hot food and parts for sale.

"There is no need to pre book, you can just turn up on the day and pay on the gate, but it is always advisable to turn up early.”

The show, which takes place at Lydiate Parish Hall, opposite the Scotch Piper, between 10am and 4pm, feature classic cars and motorbikes from clubs across the region.

To find out more search for “Lydiate Classic Car Show” on Facebook or call Ben Spears on 07931 746 520.

Fire up the... Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 SRI

LIKE garnishing an omelette with a helping of jalapeños, Vauxhall’s hoping that treating its supermini to the sporty SRI treatment will give the Corsa some added spice.

While it’s not the hottest Corsa on offer – that honour going to the track day fan’s favourite, the VXR Nürburgring – this SRI screams potential, thanks to the 17-inch alloy wheels and the bodykit inspired by its leerier big brother. But before I can find out whether it’s as enticing to drive as it to behold, it’s time to get a confession out of the way. Over the past few years I’ve driven a couple of Corsas – primarily the 1.0 litre Ecoflex and the 1.2 petrol versions – and haven’t exactly heaped praise on them.

Happily, things get off to a good start with the SRI once you hop inside – the red stitching on the steering wheel and the scarlet seat surrounds immediately give you the air of being inside something a bit special without straying into boy racer territory, and it’s more than comfortable and amply equipped for its £15,600 price tag. It suffers from the same enormous blind spots as its Corsa siblings, but that aside it’s somewhere you’ll enjoy being on even the longest of trips.

Thanks to its clever variable valve timing system the 1.4 petrol engine offers up plenty of punch without resorting to turbocharging, but because the real oomph’s only to be discovered above 3,000rpm it’s a car that encourages you to drive it by the scruff of its neck – probably the reason why I only managed, despite my best efforts, to get a shade over forty to the gallon in it. It’s great for rev-happy blasts along country lanes, but effortless motorway overtaking really isn’t the SRI’s strong suit.

It’s a similarly mixed bag when you get to the corners too, because while it handles with plenty of aplomb the steering is nowhere near sharp enough to encourage a keen driver to start enjoying it. The SRI is keenly priced, handles well and is still one of the best looking superminis on the market – particularly after Ford’s not entirely successful facelift of the Fiesta – but in every other respect it’s comprehensively outclassed not just by the Fiesta, but by Peugeot’s 208 as well.

 It’s got plenty to offer, but until Vauxhall’s new Corsa comes on stream next year I couldn’t really recommend it.

Donington Historic Festival 2013 - Pictures

AS PROMISED, here's a few more pictures of the cars inside the gates at this year's Donington Historic Festival, following the peek at some of the unlikely car park stars earlier this week.

It's a shame this year's event - the first I've been to - ended on such a tragic note, but that didn't stop thousands of enthusiasts heading to the Leicestershire racing circuit to check out all sorts of dream cars of all ages, whether they were on the track, parked up in the paddock or being proudly shown off on the classic car club stands.

Here's just a few of the sights seen by Life On Cars at the event:

 

Have you got an event you'd like to share with Life On Cars? Get in touch by sending an email to david.simister@hotmail.co.uk or by simply leaving a comment below.

Car park at Donington proves an unlikely haven for classic spotters

ONE of the great things about going to a car show is that the automotive exotica isn't always limited to the exhibits inside the gates.

A lot of petrolheads enjoy taking their pride and joy to the event with them, which is why I've always reckoned it's worth having a nose around the car park before you head home to see if there's anything special hiding among the Astras and Qashqais.

In the case of this year's Donington Historic Festival the public car park proved to be particularly prolific, with the fantastically rare Porsche 911 Speedster you see above giving an idea of just some of the surprises in store.

Here's just a few of the automotive treats that were in store...

Traditionalist Morgan or exuberant Ferrari F355 - which would you pick for a blast through the countryside?

A sports car classic in Italian racing red takes centre stage in Donington's car park. Oh, and there's a Ferrari Dino too.

No prizes for guessing which one I'd pick...

Rover 214SEi owned by Yours Truly, Lotus Elise and Austin Healey Sprite pose for the camera.

How many car parks have you spotted an Alfa Romeo SZ in lately? Liking the Astra GTE alongside it too - a surprisingly rare sight on British roads these days!

Two very different Sixties classics - a Citroen DS21 and an MGB Roadster - add a touch of style to the car park.

Oh-so-Seventies shade of gold seems to suit this Series 3 Jaguar XJ6 perfectly.

Porsche 911 GT3 wins our approval. Questionable registration plate doesn't.

Ford Fiesta RS Turbo - when was the last time you saw one?

Check out Life On Cars later this week for some of the highlights from inside this year's Donington Historic Festival.

The Aston Martin CC100 shocks for all the right reasons

OUTRAGEOUS. Attention-grabbing. Extrovert. Not words, chances are, you’ll have been using to describe Aston Martin’s offerings of late.

The company makes some of the most graceful motoring offerings on the market today and – right from the entry-level V8 Vantage to the reinvented Vanquish – they’re not exactly lacking in thumping amounts of torque and exhaust notes so good they induce goosebumps either. They’re all things of beauty, but shocking or genuinely surprising they aren’t. Stylistically at least all of Aston’s current range harks back to the DB9 of 2004, which in turn borrowed more than a few of its good looks from 1994’s DB7. 

That’s why the company’s latest concept car, the open-top, two-seater CC100, is such a breath of fresh air. It’s inspired by the car that brought Aston one of its greatest motorsport moments – the DBR1, which won Le Mans in 1959 – and is loud, lairy and just a little bit yellow in all the right places. Everything a brand new DB9 isn’t, basically.

The thing that really excites me about the CC100, though, is that the last genuinely eyeball-grabbing Aston concept, the 1998 Project Vantage, sired the original Vanquish three years later.

Fingers crossed we get a CC100 for the road, then!

Can a Nineties Rover be called a classic car?

Originally published in Classic Car Weekly, 28 April 2013

Don't get stung by one of driving's biggest distractions

IT WAS on a fine summer’s afternoon I discovered perhaps the most dangerous driving distraction known to man.

The Government’s answered calls – although not on a mobile phone while at the wheel, obviously – to up the penalty for those caught texting while driving to ninety quid. Rightly so, I reckon, because trying to spk 2 ur m8 abt 2nite while at the helm of an Audi A4 in the outside lane is, in anyone’s book, a recipe for disaster.

Unfortunately, the Ministry of Transport hasn’t yet found ways to legislate against some equally attention-grabbing, but rather less avoidable, motoring distractions. Nanny State could, for example, do something about those lorries you always find conveniently parked up in fields alongside motorways and dual carriageways, but of far more pressing concern are the appalling spelling, grammatical and punctual errors on an alarming number of them. One, at the side of the A1, reads “Believe ON the Lord Jesus Christ”*, which constantly provokes in-car debate about whether it’s best to believe while standing, quite literally, on the son of God. Another, plugging a car care specialist, proclaims “Diesel’s repaired”. Is it? Trust me, there are few things more dangerous while driving on a dual carriageway than being forced to consult my imaginary copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves.

There’s also the unavoidable motoring horror of the sneeze, which not only blinds you entirely for half a second or so but, if it catches you off-guard, leaves the inside of your windscreen covered in snot (interior windscreen wipers, by the way, could be a great suggestion for anyone thinking of entering Dragons’ Den). Driving while preoccupied by a recent bereavement is a no-no too, and if you’re a man, there’s the added distraction of billboards with pictures of Keira Knightley on them.

All of these however, pale into comparision with the distraction I encountered on that gloriously sunny afternoon in the North Yorkshire countryside. I was driving a bright yellow Triumph Spitfire – read badly built Mazda MX-5 if you haven’t done your GCSEs yet – down the country lanes, lapping up the rays, when a bee landed on the inside of the windscreen. Seconds later, it flew off and landed straight on my chest. All the advanced driving lessons in the world can’t help prepare you for a spot of motoring melissophobia. How I didn’t crash someone else’s prized classic sports car, I will never know!

What’s more, while bees are fairly benign creatures which only sting when they’re threatened, I dread the day when a wasp – a useless species which stings small children just for fun – decides to join me for the drive.

The Government don’t just need to clamp down on texting drivers. They need to ban wasps as well.

*I am aware that 'on' and 'in' are both, for historical reasons, considered acceptable, but it still draws up interesting debates about the evolution of the English language. Just one I'd prefer not to have while driving along the A1.

The Trip isn't helping my Range Rover infatuation

REAL ale, good food, uncannily accurate Michael Caine impressions and ABBA's The Winner Takes It All.

If that sounds like a familiar celluloid combination then chances are you are - like me - a fan of The Trip, the excellent comedy Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon and the BBC teamed up to make a couple of years ago. In essence, it takes up the two-blokes-on-a-trip-to-Cumbria format employed so elegantly in Withnail and I, chucks in some sidesplittingly funny improvisation from two of the country's best known comedy actors, and then leaves to simmer in some of the finest restaurants the north of England has to offer.

The Trip is probably one of the most worn-out DVDs in my collection - car chase movies and Bond films aside - so it delighted me no end to discover from a friend that plans are in the pipeline to make a second series, this time moving the restaurant-based action from the Lake District to Italy.

I mention The Trip in a motoring blog, however, because it did such a wonderful job of showcasing one of my favourite cars, the Range Rover, in the Lake District, which is one of the places I love taking a car most. In fact, AF59 WEC almost became one of the characters, seemingly featuring in almost every shot which didn't involve Steve and Rob exchanging Roger Moore impressions over a glass of white wine. Somehow, in the cold, muddy, grey Lakeland vistas, the Range Rover just looks right somehow, even if it doesn't actually venture off road once. Repeated viewings haven't helped my Range Rover infatuation at all!

I can only hope, however, the new series retains part of what gave the show a distinctly petrolhead whiff - shots of suitable set of wheels wafting serenely through whatever sublime scenery there is to offer. It'd probably be right, therefore, for the second series to feature an Alfa or a Maserati strutting its stuff in the Italian countryside.

Getting the comedy balance just right is something I'm really looking forward to with The Trip's second outing. Until then, however, savour just some of the stunning Range Rover shots the series' creators captured in the Cumbrian countryside...

New Porsche 911 Turbo ups the supercar ante

If you’ve won the lottery lately and fancy showing up your neighbours with a shiny new supercar, then the latest in a long line of turbocharged Porsche 911s might just fit the bill.

The new Porsche 911 Turbo, based on the current ‘991’ generation of the evergreen German sports car, packs both a rear-mounted 520bhp flat six engine and four wheel drive into its £118,349 price tag, while the Turbo S version ups the stakes, offering up 560bhp for a cool £140,852.

Porsche GB said of the new arrival: “In the forty years since the first prototype appeared, the place of the Porsche 911 Turbo at the technological summit and peak of dynamic performance has never been in doubt. “Now, with the unveiling of the new ‘Type 991’ generation 911 Turbo and Turbo S, the car’s reputation as a technology showcase combining the virtues of a circuit race car with those of an everyday road car reaches new heights.”

If you can afford it, the first right-hand-drive 911 Turbo and Turbo S models arrive in Britain in September.

The MGB GT gets its fifteen minutes of fame!

As originally published in Classic Car Weekly, 17 April, 2013

The sprint at Aintree reminded me why I miss the North

THE other day my sister posted on Facebook a list of things that I – as a Sandgrounder now ensconced in Peterborough – would be missing about T’North.

Among the suggestions it offered up was coffee served in mugs rather than cups, chatting to chirpy Scousers on Merseyrail trains rather than sitting in silence on the London Underground, and quaint pubs in the Lake District serving dark ales named after poets and fell walkers. What I miss most of all, though, are our car events.

That’s why I found myself in Aintree last weekend, a town well known for its connections with horsepower and racing – yep, part of the old Grand Prix circuit was being used for a sprint event. It’s a surprisingly simple formula for motoring fun; just bring your wheels of choice to the start line, put your foot down, hold on for dear life and hope your engine doesn’t pack in. Which, in the case of one Caterham which left a half-mile of blue smoke and a similarly sized oil slick down the final straight, it definitely didn’t!

The best bit, however, wasn’t watching everything from an E-Type to a Lotus Elise being nailed around the historic circuits corners and chicanes; it was being able to wander around the paddocks and get up close to this mouthwatering machinery and have a bit of a chinwag with the owners. There is something wonderfully egalitarian about the whole event, because it doesn’t matter whether you’ve brought half a million quid’s worth of classic racing machinery or a Renault 5 GT Turbo. At Aintree, all that matters is getting the fastest time in your class.

The one thing that summed that up more than anything else was clocking a lightly abused Renaultsport Clio 182 parked up next to an Aston Martin DB6. The two couldn’t be more different, but both of their owners were the epitome of loveliness and were there not to show off, but because they enjoyed putting their cars through their paces (and, without wanting to offend either, I bet their lap times weren’t dissimilar either).

So the smorgasbord of car shows across the region which always get into their stride at this time of year is something I can add to my list of things I miss about The North. 

Next week; gritty movies directed by Ken Loach, people who insist on lolly ices instead of ice lollies and Brian and Michael’s Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs. Only joking!

Why I might just go and see Fast & Furious 6

A CONFESSION. Despite being a keen connoisseur of car culture I haven’t seen the last Fast & Furious movie. In fact, it’s worse than that. I haven’t seen any of the Fast & Furious movies.

Question is, should I put this silver screen oversight right when the latest instalment in the full-throttle series, the imaginatively-titled Fast & Furious 6, when it arrives in my nearest multiplex later this month?

It’s not as though I don’t enjoy a cinematic helping or two of power oversteer after all. I revelled in Ronin. My full-throttle tastebuds were sufficiently tickled with both the Taken movies, and while Nicolas Cage’s overacting might have ruined the remake of Gone In Sixty Seconds for me, I wasn’t too bothered because it offered up plenty in the way of automotive pornography. And don’t get me started on the automotive appeal of the Bond films.

 Weirdly, though, I’ve always managed to avoid the one current film franchise which doesn’t just feature car chases and carefully-executed drifting, but makes them its raison d’etre. Why? Partly because the automotive actors vying for top billing are predominantly heavily modified Japanese and American actors, and when the first instalment came out way back in 2001 it just didn’t interest a 15-year-old car bore looking longingly at pictures of Triumph Stags and TVRs. It also didn’t help that it starred Vin Diesel, who less than a year later I saw making a complete hash out of being a skater-turns-secret-agent in Xxx. The Fast & Furious films, by extension, I’ve avoided for fear of being a bit crap.

 But the new one, even for someone who works for Classic Car Weekly rather than Fast Car, looks faintly promising. For starters, one of its stars is MK1 Escort, the trailer’s packed with shots of gritty bits of London and Jensen Interceptors, and there’s plenty in the way of pointless cinematic explosions.

Naturally, the more cynical cinema buffs among you could reason that the Fast & Furious franchise has got old and boring enough to appeal to a classic car fan, but I’m going to pretend instead it’s me who’s got more, er, street for a film about modified cars and explosions to suddenly look interesting.

I might just be tempted to venture to the nearest multiplex on this one...

The MG CS doesn't add anything to the crossover party

THE saloon is dead. Long live the sort of hatchback-meets-people-carrier-meets-off-roader!

Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last year or two you won’t have failed to notice that your nearest car park isn’t crammed with Mondeos and Vectras anymore; increasingly, it’s Jukes and Countrymans you’ll encounter.

Ordinary hatchbacks masquerading as off-roaders – or crossovers, as the estate agents of the motoring world would rather you and I call them - have been around for ages, as anyone familiar with the Talbot Matra Rancho (well worth a cheeky Google, by the way) will testify. The recent renaissance really took off when Nissan dropped saloons entirely and replaced the Primera with the Qashqai, following it up with the weirder but usefully smaller Juke. Since then Skoda, Renault, Chevrolet, and MINI are among the car makers vying for a chomp at the crossover cake, with Vauxhall and Peugeot set to join the party later this year.

The only problem with crossovers is they essentially fall into two categories. There’s the deliberately trendy, lifestyle-orientated offerings like the MINI Countryman and the Nissan Juke, which like Justin Bieber downloads sell in their shedloads but somehow make your mind ache slightly at their very existence.

Then there’s the likes of Toyota’s Urban Cruiser and Mitsubishi’s ASX – crossovers which do everything you could ever ask of them but are so mind-numbingly dull to behold you wonder why they bothered in the first place. Because crossovers are so style-driven, all you have to do to work out which camp yours belongs in is to have a long, hard look at it.

I worry, just a little bit, that MG’s gone for the wrong approach of the two – if their proposed offering, the CS is anything to go by.

Last year they brought a design study for a crossover, called the Icon, which divided opinion because it looked like someone had managed to take an old MG BGT, ram a bicycle pump up its exhaust pipe and pump it full of air. It might have divided opinion but the important thing is that at least people had an opinion on it, unlike the new car, which isn't a bad looking car but suggests to me that MG’s Chinese owners have chickened out and gone for the most derivative approach possible. Even the name’s boring; MG CS sounds like somewhere you’d buy a three piece suite in a Bank Holiday sale.

To summarise crossovers, no matter how many of them are being bought, are either annoyingly in-yer-face or duller than a wet weekend in Northampton, and MG isn’t helping.

In fact, I only like one; the Skoda Yeti.

Car clubs urged to get involved with Ormskirk MotorFest 2013

THE organisers of a motorsport-themed extravaganza in Ormskirk are asking the region’s car clubs to help make this year’s event a success.

Aintree Circuit Club, which for the past three years has teamed up with West Lancashire Borough Council to host the Ormskirk MotorFest in the historic market town, is calling for members of car and bike clubs to bring their vehicles along and display them to visitors on Sunday, August 25.

If you're a member of a car club which wants to show off their cars at this year's event, you can fill in a special application form to get a club stand on the day by filling by clicking here.

The MotorFest’s organisers have also given the event’s website a revamp, to help give participants and visitors to the event more information about what they can expect from the both the displays and the parades around the town’s one-way system. Aintree Circuit Club is also calling for residents to volunteer as marshals to lend a helping hand to the event’s safety and logistics, and urged anyone interested in offering their support to get in touch.



To find out more about this year’s Ormskirk MotorFest and to find out about how you can take part go online to www.ormskirkmotorfest.com